Where did all the hobbits go?

I feel it my duty to reveal to all fantasy fans everywhere that hobbits have been cruelly exploited and farmed in secret by the Portuguese food industry. They are being eaten in large quantities in Portugal and on their outlying colonies. I’m told they are killed, sliced, diced and then dessicated before being pressed into dry biscuit form. I have evidence. Indeed, they seem proud to advertise them for what they are. Look …

I also have a confession to make … I could not resist. I had to try one to see what they tasted like. You will be pleased to hear that they do not taste like chicken … more like Hobnobs!